I usually send out a holiday message at this time of year to friends and family. I like to send something spontaneous. Something from the heart and something relevant to the energy of the time. This year nothing was coming to me - though the subject of family was in my thoughts. Our holiday is Hanukkah and as it is 8 days long, I thought I had time. Every day I thought today something will come to me but nothing did.
On the 6th day as I was running out of time and out of candles, I was inspired by a group of crystals who were singing of kinship; but I hesitated to speak about it because not everyone in my family “gets” my connection to the crystals. Then a family spat reminded me of the importance of the message and I was motivated to share this anyway.
The holidays have their many blessings - the joyfulness, the family gatherings, the gifts, the food - ohhhh the food. But it can also be a tense time - where all the childhood issues that we’ve buried deep inside come flooding out to cause drama and trauma. The jealousy comes out when we see our siblings prospering when we’re struggling. The anger comes out with the bullies that we’re too timid to confront. The grief of loss and loneliness bubbles up when we see families that are whole and complete. The shame fills us when we see others opening gifts we wish we could afford to give. Stress tenses our bodies from the overburden of added expenses. Inconsequential arguments erupt out of exhaustion from shopping, cleaning and cooking.
The hardest for our heart is missing the ones who could not make it home. It could be one of many reasons that is keeping them away ... work, military service, health, financial issues or some other unknowable cause that is separating families at holiday time.
It’s always difficult to be apart from our loved ones. But the worst is when families separate from each other over non-sensical issues, the details of which no one seems to remember - only that the other one started it. These spats can become decades long feuds that continue until it's too late to end. This is one of the thing that humans most regret - the loss of an estranged family member, leaving their quarrel unresolved.
Often times the people the Universe sends to be our family are the ones who push our buttons the most. They are not sent to punish us but to challenge and inspire us. We are brought together for a reason and we are meant to explore that purpose. If we miss that opportunity, we are missing out on a precious gift from the universe.
This excerpt of a message that was delivered through the “Kin Crystals” best illustrates how the Universe feels about these family feuds.
... Every single being on this planet is (a child of the Earth) and that makes you all siblings. You are all kin. There is nothing a parent wants more for her children than for them to get along - for them to show their love to each other. The earth has .... a message for you. She wants you to love your brothers and sisters - all of them… Take care of each other. You are all each other have.
If there is a feud going on in your extended family and you have the power to end it or help resolve it, do it. Don't wait until the next family gathering or until you have time or energy - because that may never come.
May you feel the love that the Universe surrounds you with and may you share that love with your family.